Horse Show Parenting

Horse For Sale: Humor in Advertising

Horse ads can be read tongue in cheek

Call For Photos! Before continuing with this month's column, I want to let readers know that I am looking for pictures to appear in the updated version of The In-Gate: A Complete Guide for Novice Horse Show Parents. Visit The InGate website at www.theingate.com for information.

I'm selling my daughter's first horse. You know, the one we bought with our savings, surprised her with on her birthday, and made starry eyed plans to keep forever even after she went off to college. Go ahead, roll your eyes, but you know what I'm talking about.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever got from a trainer was "it's easier to buy a horse than to sell one." Of course, that was after I had bought a horse. I thought, that may be true for most horses but I'll never have any trouble selling Handsome. And indeed, when Daughter was going to show him forever and we had no intention of selling him, we had people coming out of the woodwork offering to buy him.Now, we want to sell him. Where are all those eager buyers of a year ago? Bought their own horses, in the meantime. Probably trying to sell them now too, flooding the market.

So I reluctantly figure a little marketing is in order. I know if I get Handsome's face, bloodline and records out in front of the world, people will be falling all over each other to buy him. After all, he comes from a famous sire. (Really.) And he's got his share of blue ribbons. But I'm Pollyanna with a touch of Ebenezer Scrooge, and I don't want to spend a lot of money advertising Handsome. After all, I'm paying to feed, house, shoe, vaccinate and insure him. Just so I can sell him.

Free advertising is what I'm looking for. Where can you advertise for free, with pictures, and reach oodles of people? On the Internet, of course! I spend many optimistic hours posting my e-ad on all the free horse classifieds I can find, and there are a herd of them.

To give my fingers a rest, I decide to start browsing some of the other ads. And I find that I've been missing the best humor reading around. Forget the Sunday funnies, and never mind those personals in the weekly tabloid, either. If you want a belly laugh that will cure what ails you, log on and read horse ads.

Great stories are hidden in the horse ads. You have to notice the subtle choice of words, and read between the lines. Here's one: "Horse has been in our family since he was a weanling and now my daughter is bored with him." Can't you imagine the family fights at their dinner table? Frankly, I'll bet the girl feels the same way about her little brother.

Here's another sad tale. This gent is selling his three-year-old Thoroughbred filly. In an eloquently-worded ad he tells us that on July 2, his three-year-old white sabino paint colt got in with her, and she has not come in since. You can hear the disappointment in his voice, but he bucks up and goes for a positive tone when he writes that someone will be looking forward to a nice foal next June. On the next line is another, more tersely worded ad by the same seller. It simply says, "For sale: 3 yr old white sabino paint."

Some ads are unintentionally funny. Like this one: "He has been used lightly over the years, due to pregnancy on our part of course." Say what? Or the one advertising the horse that was "ridden by a fourteen-year-old girl for several years" (yeah, I know all about that, I've been the same age for several years now myself.)

One ad I admired for its punchy writing, worthy of Madison Avenue itself. It's for a cutting horse, and reads: "If you're looking for a cow-eatin', flat-spinnin', drag-the-butt-in-the-dirt pedigree HERE HE IS!" I know a woman who would swear this was written about her husband. You have to admit this writer is good at creating excitement about his horse, though. It actually inspired me to add a little gusto to my own ad.

But here's the ad that stops me in my tracks. I think we've found our next horse—after we sell Handsome to some lucky family, of course. It's for a Paint horse, and Daughter shows Arabians, but what the heck. I want this horse for his income earning potential, and not just in the show ring. The ad says: "He's broke very well & has parade experience, trail experience & car parking experience." If this horse can park cars, I figure I can send him out to earn his keep, and we'll finally be ahead in this horse game!

Meanwhile, I've got Handsome here to think about. So here's my ad: "If you want a slow-lopin, flashy-lookin, puts-the-pleasure-back-in-Western-Pleasure pedigree, HERE HE IS! Ridden by a fifteen-year-old girl for several years until she got bored with him. He can't park cars, but I guarantee he won't get your Thoroughbred filly pregnant." Serious inquiries only. Please.

Advertising online can be a good option for selling your horse. See the links below for some hints on how to get the most out of online advertising.

Questions, or a specific topic you'd like to see addressed in this column? Send an email to theingate@yahoo.com.

Past articles by Ange Finn:

Keep Your Cool in the Heat of Show Season: Coping Tips for Show Parents (June, 2003) | That Championship Season (August, 2003) | Interview with Dr. Janet Sasson Edgette (December, 2003) | Horse For Sale: Humor in Advertising (March, 2004) | Life Lessons from the Show Circuit (May, 2004) | Selling Your Horse: Retread or Retire? (July, 2004) | Clothes, Clothes, Who's Got the Clothes? (November, 2004) | Making a List (December, 2004) | From The Horse Show Dad's Mouth (March, 2005) | How to Dress Your Young Rider for the First Lesson (July, 2005) | 5.5 Tips to Make Money--To Spend on Your Kid's Horse! (January, 2006) | Best of the West: Fashion for Western Riders (August, 2003) | Hunter Fashionistas in the Show Ring (February, 2005) | Simplify Your Show Season--As If! (February, 2006) | Take That Riding Vacation (July, 2006) | Well-Groomed for Show (July, 2006) | (January, 2007) | (February, 2007) | From The Other Side of the Rail (April, 2007) | So Very English: Fashion for Hunter Riders (September, 2003) | Finding A Trainer (October, 2003) | Finding The Horse: Owning vs. Leasing (November, 2003) |